


Not Tonight, Dear

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Filming Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-10-08
Updated: 2004-10-08
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:41:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7638850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah wants to prove to Dom that he's All Man</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Tonight, Dear

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

Dom came home late to find Elijah crying into his beer over _The Bridges of Madison County_. He threw his bag in a corner and dropped into a chair, smirking.

"God, Meryl Streep is just _luminous_ ," Elijah said, blowing his nose.

"And you are so fucking _gay_ ," Dom said. "Sometimes living with you is like living with a woman."

"Asshole!" Elijah shrieked, launching a cushion at Dom.

"I rest my case."

Elijah pulled the ashtray towards him, the one which had been a present for both of them from Billy and said 'Jesus hates it when you smoke' in the bottom. He lit a cigarette and slumped back on the couch, dribbling smoke out of his nose.

"Living with me," he said, "Is nothing like living with a woman."

"Prove it."

Elijah picked up his beer bottle and inhaled deeply on the cigarette. "OK. Exhibit A. I do not complain when you leave the toilet seat up. In fact, I am quite glad that you leave the toilet seat up."

Dom got up and moved to the couch next to Elijah, taking the beer bottle from his hand and swigging from it. "That's one thing. What else? I need more convincing."

"Um... OK. I don't complain when you forget my birthday."

"I've never forgotten your birthday."

"All right then, if you did, I wouldn't complain."

"Yes you would."

"Look, this is a bad example because I know you, it'll never happen."

Dom grinned and took another swallow of beer. "One all then."

"I don't complain when you splash water all over the bathroom when you're shaving."

"OK."

"I play computer games with you. And let you win sometimes."

"Hmm. OK, I'll give you that."

"And..." Elijah removed the beer from Dom's hand, "... the deal clincher."

"Which is?"

"I will never, ever say 'Not tonight dear, it's the wrong time of the month.' In fact..." he slid the beer bottle between his lips and took a long drink, "... barring, like, Armageddon, I will never, ever say 'not tonight...'" He swung his feet up on to Dom's lap and settled back into the corner of the couch, allowing his legs to fall open. Smiling over the rim of the bottle neck, he ran his finger and thumb suggestively up and down it. "I think about sex with you every free moment I have. But then, you know that already."

Dom took the bottle back and drank, feeling his trousers get tighter around the groin area.

"You may have a point, but I'm not sure I quite follow," he said, unable to tear his eyes away from Elijah's hand, which had now moved to rest lightly against his crotch. "You'll have to explain a bit more." He slid his hand up inside the leg of Elijah's jeans, relishing the feel of skin against his palm.

Elijah just sat smoking and smiling, idly playing with the button on his fly and shifting his hips around a little to emphasise his now quite obvious erection.

"I mean," Dom said. "I may need a bit more convincing."

Dom watched, mesmerised as Elijah slowly undid his fly with one hand. Freeing his cock, he began to stroke it in leisurely fashion without taking his eyes off Dom. Dom was aware of his own breathing getting deeper and quicker as he watched Elijah sit casually stroking himself with one hand and smoking his cigarette with the other. Unconsciously, Dom licked his lips.

 _The most fucking erotic thing I've ever seen in my life_ , Dom thought, by now painfully hard.

Finally Dom remembered how to use his limbs, and turned himself through ninety degrees, his back against the arm of the couch, settling the sole of one of Elijah's bare feet against his bulging crotch. He sighed, pushing his hips up against the blessed friction.

Elijah scrunched up his toes, and Dom inhaled sharply.

He slid his palm up and down Elijah's leg under his trousers and pushed Elijah's foot against his cock, which was straining to get free of his jeans. Every stroke of Elijah's hand produced an echoing flare of pleasure in Dom's groin and belly. He had to will himself not to move, just to sit and watch the show that Elijah was putting on for him, when what he really wanted to do was put his mouth around Elijah's cock and suck and suck. Instead he settled for draining the last dregs of beer and fellating the bottle neck, which made Elijah's eyes go gratifyingly wide. Sweat beaded on Elijah's upper lip and forehead and his breathing became ragged as his hand pumped faster. Dom was utterly mesmerised and starting to feel a little light-headed due to the fact that all blood flow above his waist seemed to have stopped.

"Fuck, Dom..." Elijah whispered between panting breaths. In answer, Dom dug his nails into the skin of Elijah's leg.

Barely breaking his rhythm, Elijah flicked his cigarette end into the ash tray and reached for a tissue from the table. Dom was forcing his face to remain impassive, but in his head he was all _yeah, come on, give it to me, fuck yeah, that's it_...

Elijah looked right into Dom's eyes, as he came with a little cry and a huge, satisfied grin. Dom groaned and pushed against Elijah's foot.

They sat looking at each other. Elijah was breathing hard, and Dom not much less intensely as Elijah sat rocking his foot against Dom's cock through the denim. After a while Dom put the empty beer bottle on the glass table with a chink and broke the silence.

"Here," Elijah said, holding out the tissue. "Will you get rid of that for me?"

Dom burst out laughing.

"Game, set and match to you, I think."

"I proved myself a real man, then?"

"In every possible fucking way."

Elijah pressed his foot hard against Dom, making Dom gasp and Elijah giggle. "Maybe not in every possible _fucking_ way..."

"No. That, my friend, is my job for tonight." Dom lifted Elijah's legs off his lap and swung his feet down to the floor. "I'll see you in bed," he said. "But please. Get rid of your own wank rag. I'm not your slave."

Elijah raised a questioning eyebrow. "Oh no? Prove it..."


End file.
